boat ride…
Fire Robin – our friend that goes around burning everything he can for five months straight popped up at the lodge this afternoon looking for company. He invited all of us to go back to his place, take a boat ride to horseshoe to have some sundowners and then come back for dinner. Didn’t sound like a bad plan although I was quite content on the deck at the lodge with a dinner buffet close at hand. However, Luke, Jg, and Cerian were all game so not to be left out off we all went.
Now, in case anyone ever gets slightly nervous about boats and water in Africa it is probably a good idea to ask what one qualifies as a boat before being presented with a floatation device to carry you through the hippo infested waters. We got to Robin’s place with a metal motorboat in mind only to come upon a big, yellow raft (think white water rafting style). Cerian and I looked at each other and the only word that came into my head was, really? But, ok, Robin seems confident that this isn’t a problem, he has lived here for quite awhile and I trust he knows what he is doing so gamely continue on…we load the boat and are waiting to get in when Cerian suddenly says, do you hear that? Sounds like a leak in the boat…Sure enough a whizzing sounds was coming out of a small hole at the float of our very sturdy floatation device. We called to Robin who said it was no problem, not to worry about it. Luke, Cerian, and myself looked at each other, looked at the hole the whizzing sound continued to come out of, and proceeded to shuffle our feet and wonder at our sanity.
Now you would think at this point those of us that have had night experiences on African rivers would have had some sense knocked into us…silly assumptions…onto the floatation device we got and off we went…now, the Kwandu River is one of the prettiest rivers to be on…the water is the highest it’s been in thirty years b/c of the amount of rain that fell this year and the sides of the river are papyrus and phragmittes that the water carves through creating numerous channels filled with some of the clearest water I’ve ever seen in a river. We picked up speed and were cruising along until we came to a bend in the river and on the other side were numerous little ears poking out of the water indicating quite a few hippos. We slowed down about 200 yards shy of them and proceeded to have a curious stare-off with them. Curious b/c I am sure they were wondering what the small yellow thing was in the water, us, with mixed reactions – some curious to see the hippos others curious to know where the closest, driest, most elevated land was located. In any case, we continued to drift towards the hippos as they periodically bobbed above the surface…it’s when they disappear that I get very nervous…well more nervous might be more appropriate. At this point, Robin decides we should turn the engine off and proceeds to light up a cigarette. He also proceeds to say it’s when we are most idle that we are most vulnerable. Um, hello? Do I even state the obvious? Jg got some pictures, we all had a lovely look at the hippos and so why are we still idling 50 yards shy of these hippos??
We finally get going again and pick up cruising speed on a fairly wide open expanse of water. Up to the side is a bigger, pontoon-ish boat with two guys sitting on it. We sidle up to it and Robin asks if everything is ok. They are cool – just there for some reason I can’t remember but not important…they ask where we are going and Robin replies horseshoe (an oxbow lake on the Bwabwata side of the river towards the south side). Anyway, the guys are like, oh can’t get there – too many reeds. Oh, no no, says Robin, our boat is a lot smaller…not a problem and off we go again. The river narrows, we come around a bend, and skid to a halt. In front of us, blocking the way, is a bunch of reeds laying across the water. Now, at this point I would consider the most reasonable mode of action to return the way we came, find somewhere near the campsites we had passed to watch the sunset, and enjoy the view. Again, what a ridiculous thought. Robin decides to get a running start and rocket over the reeds…mmmm…needless to say we got stuck.
So, out come the oars with Luke and Jg pushing with all their might to dislodge us, Robin trying to get weeds out of the propeller, and Cerian and I trying to stay out of the way and pull on any loose reeds along the side to pull out. It was during this process that Cerian calmly states, there’s a snake in the boat. Immediately my feet are up on the dash as I glance towards the back of the boat where she is indicating. In retrospect, Luke mentioned he wouldn’t have minded a bit more urgency in her voice considering he was standing barefoot right where the snake was…in any case, we have a snake in the boat now. So rather than dislodging from the reeds, we are now all focused on getting the snake out of the boat, wondering if it is a black mambo, trying to find it sloshing in the water that was creeping into the boat from the back (or somewhere…we had a leak…did I mention that yet?)…Robin, for whatever insane, idiotic reason goes about scooping the snake out of the water and then proceeds to let it start crawling up his arm. Jg is like, um, do you know what kind of snake that is? No. do you know if it’s poisonous? No. oh. Ok. Sure. Very normal action.
We finally push ourselves out of the reeds and decide maybe it’s time for a drink. Or at least that’s why Robin thought b/c when Luke asked him for another bailer to help scoop water out of the boat, his reply was yes, I would love a beer. So, at least in one sense came well prepared. Cerian skipped straight to the gin minus the tonic which about summed up my state of mind. But, we were still mostly okay b/c sun still up, things were good and all was ok. Robin then decides to try one more time and hooray (for all that might mean) we almost clear the reeds and manage to pull our way through. From there we wove in and out of very narrow passages eventually coming out onto the horseshoe. It took probably a little over an hour to get there (contrary to the 30 minute estimate given at the outset)
For the record, the sun was just about down but we were good. I just ignored the fact that, yes, in fact we would eventually have to go back, and yes, it would be in the dark and starting drinking a rum and coke. Some elephants came out along the edge of the river and we decided (we? I don’t know why I write it like it was a collective decisions these things we did unless silence means agreeable consent) to putter along the edge of the water to get close to the elephants. Luke aptly stated Darwin Awards here we come. Sigh. If one took a moment to forget about it all, the fact we were sitting on some beautiful water in a beautiful setting watching the last remnants of the sunset fade away one could be quite envious. But then the reality of the precariousness of our situation crashes in and I wonder what possessed me to put myself in such a position.
It’s while we are sitting, bobbing gently 100 yards from the elephants that it becomes very, very apparent we are all sitting very close to the water. Why, yes, the boat seems to be losing air. A lot. Very fast. Awesome. Out comes the pump and we start taking turns pumping life back into our yellow floatation device. This is to become the routine on a 15-20 minute rotation for the next 3-4 hours. I’m sorry, 3-4 hours? I thought it was an hour out? Yeah..Apparently Robin has only navigated the river ONCE to get to horseshoe and really does not know with certainty the way home. But as long as he had his GPS we could just follow the tracks out. That was a great plan until the GPS fell into the water at the back of the boat and ceased to function. Needless to say we started back well after the moon was out (b/c, it was much better to navigate by moonlight than at dusk…which, fine, I can buy that but not if you don’t first know where you are suppose to be going) and off we went down on of the channel (periodically stopping to pump the boat back up to some level of floatability) trying to sort out the right way….after about thirty minutes we pop out into a clearing…looking around Luke is like, uh, I think we are back at horseshoe. And sure enough that is where we were…ok, nothing to do but try again. So, pumping ensues – which was actually a favorable pastime by now if only b/c the cold of the night was creeping in and poor Luke had gotten all his extra clothes soaking wet in the storage box that was supposed to be dry so he was wearing Jg’s sweatshirt and Jg only had his long-sleeve thermal under a shirt…Cerian and I were perhaps a bit better off but everyone was feeling the chill. Round two took us up and down various dead-end channels until we popped out in a very familiar clearing. Horseshoe. Again. It was at this point, Robin turns off the engine and lights up a cigarette. The whole time we have been trying to navigate through these channels he would keep saying, we’re very close now, I can feel it…it’s somewhere just around here. Uh huh. I’m sure it’s somewhere (vague hand motion in general wide-sweeping arc towards the reed maze) in that direction…thank you for the obvious. We are now checking the fuel…Jg asks if we have enough. I watch Robin shake the oh maybe ¼ full can and say we have plenty of fuel. Uh huh. I am meanwhile calculating my odds of how far it would be to trek on the BNP side of the river to the nearest camp lodge and would I rather take my chances on land than sitting in the floatation device (I refuse to call what we were on a boat) all night. But third time’s a charm right? Off we went again with myself alternating b/t keeping my head up or down and concentrating on secure grip of the floatation device).
I cannot tell you how excited the four of us were to come around a bend and see the same mess of reeds blocking our path that barred original entry. We all were pulling and tugging with smiles on our faces to get the damn floatation device back to the other side and continued on our merry way – we will still a good 7-8 kilometers away but eventually we arrived back to the field station. Relief was evident on all our faces and consensus 100% that no, thank you, we would not be staying to dinner. We get our stuff, climb in the truck, ready to go. Only to realize one of the tires is low. Damn. So, back out of the truck we go, out comes the electric pump, and in goes some air. It was now about 10:40 at night….we were supposed to be back at the field station by 7:30/8:00 for dinner. it took three hours to get back (I timed it out of curiosity when starting). We finally got the tire pumped enough to get home and headed back to the lodge. Was at this point I realized Cerian and I did not have a way into our room b/c we had left our key at the front desk which gets locked by ten at night. Luckily, they left one of their kitchen doors open and then another door on the inside so I was able to get retrieve it but that would have been brilliant. But, made it back safe and sound, had an extremely hot shower in the dark but could care less, and then went to bed. Woke up to two flat ties and a truck that wouldn’t start. And it didn’t even phase us. And so it went…